Progressive Recovery

Progressive Recovery is a constant reworking of the 12 steps and resources for those in recovery for substance abuse.

Causes and Conditions


Powerlessness versus Unmanageability 

by Chris A.

This has been years in sobriety in the making, which is so humbling. Then again, we can’t learn something new without being on the journey of recovery. So first, let’s define this issue.

Powerlessness: The state of lacking the authority, capacity, or resources to control or influence events, one’s circumstances, or oneself. It is an absence of agency that frequently leads to feelings of hopelessness, frustration and vulnerability.

Unmanageability: The state of being difficult or impossible to control, handle or direct. It describes situations, behaviors, or systems that have been spiraling out of control and resist attempts at order, manipulation, or resolution.

This is very interesting indeed. I experience powerlessness every day. There is much of the world, my surroundings (including people, places, and things), and quite often my reactions where I experience powerlessness, where I lack the capacity or resources to control daily events into my favor. The higher the stakes of the outcome to which I expect, or believe I need to happen, the higher the probability that I experience frustration, anger, fear, or resentment. Those are the symptoms. The cause is powerlessness.

What’s still more interesting is that unmanageability is focused on the word “being” in the first person. I am the one who has become difficult to control or handle. When triggered, I am at risk of deploying a variety of tactics and behaviors to control and manipulate the situations into the expected or desired outcome. My actions are proof that I am operating in a system that says, “I am not okay, unless the situation shifts to my expectations.” Since I’m powerless over so much, it’s a given that trying to manage those thing will run amok.

At base level, the logic holds together. I bump into the world (throughout any day I experience). The world appears threatening (undesired outcome). Under the surface (unconsciously), I make a decision based on self that the situation is unacceptable. I begin to control and manipulate toward my desired outcome (safety).

The error in my logic (again often unconscious), is believing that “I am not okay” with the current situation and outcome. While 100% acceptance of the current situation is the answer, I’m usually triggered into the dark side (not okay unless) by the time that realization strikes.

From this perspective, unmanageability can become a powerful (pun intended) tool that can awaken me to a process that leaves me connected and at ease, regardless of the outcome. The process often includes the following:

  • Becoming Aware of controlling behaviors (playing God, being unmanageable).

  • Pausing behavior (stop controlling and manipulating).

  • Telling the Truth (the problem is not the situation on the outside), but the state of being on the inside).

  • Asking for Help (drives vulnerability and connection with others and God).

  • Cleaning up any Harms (in the event I’ve bitten the other children on the playground).

  • Turning myself to Others (action that supports 100% Acceptance).

In short, powerlessness is normal and a part of everyday life. Unmanageability is the creation of confusion and also spiraling and unchecked emotions.

*****

Yesterday I experienced a handful of situations of powerlessness: my spouse’s surgery (and with timing my inability to be there, not feeling well personally, and three work situations that did not “go my way.” By 4:45 pm, I became aware of being triggered into a state of unmanageability. I practiced the first three bullets above before the end of the night. Then I focused on the fourth and sixth bullets this next morning. (Thankfully there was no need for the fifth bullet.)

*****

This process seems like it will be a lifetime practice for me. I’m grateful to understand the difference in powerlessness and unmanageability today. Especially the implications of each and how they play out in my day-to-day life.

Powerlessness does not mean helplessness or hopelessness. And it doesn’t mean to get power. Unmanageability is the sign that tells me I need a new playbook. That’s the program of recovery.

A Greater and Greater World of Recovery

The increasing number of addictions of all types is nothing less than heartbreaking, especially when it strikes all too close to home with friends or loved ones. At the same time, we who are in recovery know that is not the whole story. We see the sobriety that can come as well as the healing that is possible. In some cases, the degree of healing is overwhelmingly positive. Sometimes we may be in awestruck by just how much can be made right in ourselves, in others, and in the world.

Recently, we discovered that MysticMag had done a global search and compiled a massive list of treatment programs and resources worldwide. It is nothing less than stunning to see the sheer scale of the reach of recovery that has come to pass. Granted, it is in response to a stunning need, and yet how can one not be encouraged. Not just for the formal programs and services, but everywhere a group or a need arises, those in recovery appear to extend the hand and support the recovering communities. More impressive still is the emergence of subgroups of every imaginable kind to work with and for each and every unique set of circumstances.

It is in this spirit that we started this piece with the quote from our friend, Al C. “While my gratitude goes to AA, my allegiance is to recovery.” With this frame of reference, Al captures what some have called the “language of the heart,” and others refer to as “the everlasting spirit of recovery.” 

One of the great realities of recovery is that we must do it for ourselves, because no one can do it for us. And yet, we do not have to recovery alone. The beauty of this reality is that it means the number of approaches and solutions are as diverse and numbered as those who find their way into a long-term recovery. Perhaps we have tapped into an infinity of means to healing and wholeness.

At Progressive Recovery, we continue to collect and distribute content that is freely received and freely given. The includes our own compiled list of resources we have found to be useful.  Our only request is that you contribute to the effort by passing on what you find that is useful. After all, you too are a demonstration of an allegiance to recovery. 

One moment, one breath, one step, one day at a time. We are in this together. 

Open, Unguarded and Alive in Recovery

We have long admired the story of Brene Brown’s recovery, which she told in a powerful blog you can read here. That breakthrough in her life opened up a remarkable world beyond recovery, one in which she has become a notable contributor to the larger world. You can explore that by searching most anywhere with her name. It is a remarkable body of work made possible by her recovery, which is in all ways a progressive one.

Central to Brene’s work in the world are ideas around vulnerability and authenticity, which are powerful themes in the rooms of recovery. More importantly, her work has taken the direction embedded in the Twelve Steps and embellished greatly through Progressive Recovery.

We find a psychic change and the transformation of our lives by looking at the ways we are blocked off. This is the central tenet in inventory practices in recovery. We don’t look for the solution, we look within ourselves for where we are unable to find the solution. It is those blockages and their release that puts us on the launching pad of life beyond sobriety.

In the spirit of that vulnerability and authenticity, Brene published this blog: Hard Season’s and Wild Hearts. It is a most powerful tale of how even in long-term recovery, we must over and over again break through the parts of us that become defended and armored. Here is her story, which of course, is mirror to our stories.

Beyond Stigma

 
 

Video Courtesy of The University of Alabama at Birmingham

For a number of years, our friend Al has been contributing to the deepening of Progressive Recovery through his personal journey in recovery. He’s become a peer support specialist, and an exceptional voice for advancing recovery in any number of ways. Especially he can speak to the stigma of addiction through his own experience, strength and hope. After all, when we bring things into the light, the shadows of shame and stigma fall away. We are each better for that healing, so too is our world bettered.

“While my gratitude goes to AA, my allegiance is to recovery.” - Al. C.

 

A Progressive Understanding of the Way of the Twelve Steps

As our recovery lengthens and deepens, many of us find we likewise deepen our understanding and practice of the Twelve Steps. Of course that would be the case. With each day, each step, each year through which our recovery advances, it’s very reasonable to expect our approaches to recovery to evolve. Not surprisingly, the challenges we face in living sober often become different. Here’s a little summary of our understanding of a progressive practice of the Twelve Steps.

Initially, we rightly focus on our bad behavior, our glaring personality problems, and the breakdowns in our lives including any number of relationship difficulties. So too are we dealing with our guilt and our shame, which are entangled with those problems that brought us into recovery. Needless to say, we are hard pressed to make progress without first getting done with the drink, the drug, or the addiction. For some time this works exceptionally well for many of us.

However, it is not uncommon for us to continue to be dogged by challenges in our behavior, relationships and lives. If we persist in applying the practices of recovery, we are likely to begin to see that there are underlying patterns. At some point, someone may direct us to familiar language. “Many of have tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.” And, “Invariably we find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self that have placed us in a position to be harmed.” At this moment we have an opportunity to look at the Twelve Steps much differently. That is what our Emotional Sober … For Life graphic depicts.

We begin to see that our behavior and the lives that we live are in fact created or driven by how we see and interpret the world. If we think others are here to meet our needs, we invariably find relationship problems. If we discover underlying traumas, both large and small, we begin to see those wounds influencing everything to which we are oriented. If we believe in our heart of hearts that we are deficient or inadequate, we realize we are living small as a self-protective strategy.

In short, we find that our beliefs and perceptions are leading us astray, or that unhealed inner wounds block us off from possibility and potential. Much to our surprise, we may realize that much of that upon which we have focused are symptoms, that beneath these are the “causes and conditions” that the Big Book proposes are the root of our alcoholism or addiction.

It is then, that we may seek a therapist to deepen our psycho-spiritual investigations. Or we may find we need a sponsor or mentor who can take us in new directions with our recovery. Or we may turn to other spiritual or religious practices and disciplines in order to get at these underlying factors.

One of the most beautiful learnings in years of recovery is that there are many ways to be healed, and many ways to advance our recovery. The first requirement seems always to be that we must realize we need more of a solution. Not that our recovery work to date has failed, instead it brings us to new degrees of recovery.

Therein lies our encouragement. (Imagine that … to be en-couraged!) So too does our experience, strength and hope confirm that recovery is not a resting place or safe haven, though it may provide both. Instead it is a launching pad. What we are called to is a psychic change. Once old ideas and decisions based on self are revealed, and once inner healing comes, our selves, our lives, and our worlds change.

“You can trust recovery. You can trust the process.”

~ Sam D.

I'm Alright

 

"I had to tell the truth to myself about myself.” ~Michael Canfield

After we completed the release of our Strengths-Based Recovery virtual workshops, click here to view all three, a friend pointed us to Michael’s video at Green Renaissance, a site that explores our shared humanity through powerful reflections.

Michael’s recovery story spoke so loudly to finding and expressing our strengths, and beyond that, to finding our spiritual footing despite sometimes terrible and ugly histories.

We think his story is not just the tale of getting clean and sober, but a hopeful reflection for all of us on how to walk ourselves. It sounds like emotional sobriety to us.

Enjoy his story, and his experience, strength and hope. Nothing but the best, friends.

Alternative Therapies for Pain Management

Millions of Americans are in recovery from substance abuse addiction, and must navigate pain management in such a way as to not trigger a relapse. This is especially important as the effects of prescribed opioids have triggered an addiction epidemic. Progressive Recovery is pleased to feature this interview with Dr. Gurusahay Khalsa, where he discusses alternative therapies for pain management for anyone who wishes to avoid using opiates in pain management.

Dr. Khalsa has been in private practice since 1978 and is the director of the GRD Healing Arts Clinic, PC, a multi-disciplinary health and healing clinic in Atlanta, GA. His specialties include acupuncture, gentle chiropractic care, nutrition, applied kinesiology, and yoga therapy. Dr. Khalsa educates and inspires people to improve the quality of their living by enabling them to take control of their own life physically, mentally and spiritually. He has lectured extensively for the last 45 years on health care, nutrition, oriental medicine, Kundalini yoga and meditation, stress management, goal setting, prosperity, and wellness and longevity. 

To learn more about Dr. Khalsa, you can visit his website here.

Join our Community for Recovery Updates

Maintaining anonymity is important to us, therefore Progressive Recovery will never share or sell your information for any reason. Please be sure to confirm your email address in order to be subscribed.

 © RON CHAPMAN, PROGRESSIVE RECOVERY™ and PROGRESSIVE RECOVERY SERVICES™  2024 | Site Design by Social Linus LLC