Personal Experience in Recovery

The Power of Story

Once we arrive in the rooms of recovery, it quickly becomes clear that storytelling is a central practice. Whether it’s the stories we encounter in the literature, shared in speaker meetings and recordings, or told in our own voices during a 5th Step with a sponsor, spiritual advisor, or trusted friend, there is something uniquely powerful about giving voice to our lived experiences.

Carl Jung, the renowned psychologist whose work influenced some of Bill W.’s thinking - and later found its way into the Twelve Steps and the Big Book—concluded that stories are essential. He observed, “Transformation [i.e., psychic change] only happens in the presence of story, myth, and image, not primarily through rational arguments.” This is why the weaving together of the principles in the Steps, the insistence on telling our stories, and the connection found in community are all foundational to recovery.

The Progressive Recovery content is rich with stories from many different angles and vantage points. As described above, we have woven together narrative with more rational material, and it all works together. Stories offer us a powerful lens through which to view our lives, our recovery, and ourselves. It’s no wonder we so often hear in the rooms that, at some point, someone will “tell our story.” Likewise, we are encouraged to relate rather than compare. This emphasis on story is nothing new—human history itself has been carried forward through oral traditions. We are, in a very real sense, born to be immersed in story.

Fiction as a Pathway

A number of years ago, through an unexpected interaction with a serial killer who was soon to be executed for his crimes, Ron was compelled to tell part of that story. A Killer’s Grace emerged, driven by its lead character, Kevin Pitcairn - a man deeply engaged in recovery from alcoholism, actively involved in AA, and supported by a wise sponsor and several spiritual advisors. The novel weaves together a plot that is at once worldly, recovery-based, and profoundly spiritual.

That story proved compelling to people of all backgrounds while remaining especially relatable to those in recovery. Ron would occasionally acknowledge that it was, in part, biographical - an exploration of his own journey through the lens of fiction. When readers and reviewers suggested there was more story yet to be told, the Saga of Grace series was born.

The truth is, the arc of the plot (A Killer’s Grace, The Dark Side of Grace, and The Reckoning of Grace) is, in fact, a story of progressive recovery. Through Kevin Pitcairn, we witness a journey from alcoholism, through trauma, into post-traumatic growth, and ultimately into spiritual transcendence. His path also reflects a movement from darkness into ever-greater degrees of light—a reflection of the evolving spiritual experience many of us have known.

It was also fueled by a comment Ron once received from a friend in recovery. Mikey said, “Damn it! If grace doesn’t include the ugly stuff, then it ain’t grace.” One reviewer - a minister - echoed that sentiment, adding, “This ain’t yo’ mama’s grace.”

And so, the Saga of Grace series mirrors our own experience - an interplay of darkness and light, and perhaps a pathway toward deeper spiritual growth and development.

Ron concluded, “In creating this story, somehow I advanced my own understanding and recovery. Others have told me it was useful to them as well.”

“No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous

Freedom Through the Twelve Steps - Bill Wilson: Changing the World

More than several cultural and social commentators have credited the creation of the Twelve Steps as a modern day wonder of the world. While there are and always will be plenty of critics of them and the program of recovery, countless others see the Twelve Steps as remarkable and even miraculous. Of course, it is quite a story of how they came into being through Bill W, his connection to Dr. Bob, and then the growth of AA that eventually launched any number of other twelve-step programs. 

Sometimes, it can be valuable to view our program of recovery through the lens of the conventional or secular world. At a minimum, this can enrich our perspective with useful insights. At best, it may help keep each of us—and all of us collectively—from becoming so self-satisfied that we undermine the very purpose of the rooms of recovery and the Twelve Steps.

That’s why, when we came across this podcast from the highly regarded Harvard Business Review, we felt it could be meaningful to others. It explores Bill W. and the founding of AA through a secular, entrepreneurial lens. We found it quite compelling and think you might as well. Below is how the producers describe the piece, along with a link to the audio file.

As always, take what you like and pass it on.

How Bill Wilson Cofounded Alcoholics Anonymous and Created a Lasting Social Movement

Bill Wilson was an incredibly entrepreneurial young man with tremendous potential. He was also an alcoholic who had hit rock bottom - until an epiphany led him to lasting sobriety.

With his personal drive and fellowship with former drinking buddies, Wilson built a social movement and worldwide organization. Founded in 1935, Alcoholics Anonymous has helped millions of “friends of Bill” recover from alcohol addiction.

In this episode of Cold Call, Harvard Business School Professor Robert Simons joins host Brian Kenny to discuss the case, Bill Wilson: Changing the World. They explore how Wilson navigated life’s choices, transformed his life and those of others, and left a lasting impact on the world.

A Greater and Greater World of Recovery

The increasing number of addictions of all types is nothing less than heartbreaking, especially when it strikes all too close to home with friends or loved ones. At the same time, we who are in recovery know that is not the whole story. We see the sobriety that can come as well as the healing that is possible. In some cases, the degree of healing is overwhelmingly positive. Sometimes we may be in awestruck by just how much can be made right in ourselves, in others, and in the world.

Recently, we discovered that MysticMag had done a global search and compiled a massive list of treatment programs and resources worldwide. It is nothing less than stunning to see the sheer scale of the reach of recovery that has come to pass. Granted, it is in response to a stunning need, and yet how can one not be encouraged. Not just for the formal programs and services, but everywhere a group or a need arises, those in recovery appear to extend the hand and support the recovering communities. More impressive still is the emergence of subgroups of every imaginable kind to work with and for each and every unique set of circumstances.

It is in this spirit that we started this piece with the quote from our friend, Al C. “While my gratitude goes to AA, my allegiance is to recovery.” With this frame of reference, Al captures what some have called the “language of the heart,” and others refer to as “the everlasting spirit of recovery.” 

One of the great realities of recovery is that we must do it for ourselves, because no one can do it for us. And yet, we do not have to recovery alone. The beauty of this reality is that it means the number of approaches and solutions are as diverse and numbered as those who find their way into a long-term recovery. Perhaps we have tapped into an infinity of means to healing and wholeness.

At Progressive Recovery, we continue to collect and distribute content that is freely received and freely given. The includes our own compiled list of resources we have found to be useful.  Our only request is that you contribute to the effort by passing on what you find that is useful. After all, you too are a demonstration of an allegiance to recovery. 

One moment, one breath, one step, one day at a time. We are in this together. 

Open, Unguarded and Alive in Recovery

We have long admired the story of Brene Brown’s recovery, which she told in a powerful blog you can read here. That breakthrough in her life opened up a remarkable world beyond recovery, one in which she has become a notable contributor to the larger world. You can explore that by searching most anywhere with her name. It is a remarkable body of work made possible by her recovery, which is in all ways a progressive one.

Central to Brene’s work in the world are ideas around vulnerability and authenticity, which are powerful themes in the rooms of recovery. More importantly, her work has taken the direction embedded in the Twelve Steps and embellished greatly through Progressive Recovery.

We find a psychic change and the transformation of our lives by looking at the ways we are blocked off. This is the central tenet in inventory practices in recovery. We don’t look for the solution, we look within ourselves for where we are unable to find the solution. It is those blockages and their release that puts us on the launching pad of life beyond sobriety.

In the spirit of that vulnerability and authenticity, Brene published this blog: Hard Season’s and Wild Hearts. It is a most powerful tale of how even in long-term recovery, we must over and over again break through the parts of us that become defended and armored. Here is her story, which of course, is mirror to our stories.

Beyond Stigma

Video Courtesy of The University of Alabama at Birmingham

For a number of years, our friend Al has been contributing to the deepening of Progressive Recovery through his personal journey in recovery. He’s become a peer support specialist, and an exceptional voice for advancing recovery in any number of ways. Especially he can speak to the stigma of addiction through his own experience, strength and hope. After all, when we bring things into the light, the shadows of shame and stigma fall away. We are each better for that healing, so too is our world bettered.

“While my gratitude goes to AA, my allegiance is to recovery.” - Al. C.

A Progressive Understanding of the Way of the Twelve Steps

As our recovery lengthens and deepens, many of us find we likewise deepen our understanding and practice of the Twelve Steps. Of course that would be the case. With each day, each step, each year through which our recovery advances, it’s very reasonable to expect our approaches to recovery to evolve. Not surprisingly, the challenges we face in living sober often become different. Here’s a little summary of our understanding of a progressive practice of the Twelve Steps.

Initially, we rightly focus on our bad behavior, our glaring personality problems, and the breakdowns in our lives including any number of relationship difficulties. So too are we dealing with our guilt and our shame, which are entangled with those problems that brought us into recovery. Needless to say, we are hard pressed to make progress without first getting done with the drink, the drug, or the addiction. For some time this works exceptionally well for many of us.

However, it is not uncommon for us to continue to be dogged by challenges in our behavior, relationships and lives. If we persist in applying the practices of recovery, we are likely to begin to see that there are underlying patterns. At some point, someone may direct us to familiar language. “Many of have tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.” And, “Invariably we find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self that have placed us in a position to be harmed.” At this moment we have an opportunity to look at the Twelve Steps much differently. That is what our Emotional Sober … For Life graphic depicts.

We begin to see that our behavior and the lives that we live are in fact created or driven by how we see and interpret the world. If we think others are here to meet our needs, we invariably find relationship problems. If we discover underlying traumas, both large and small, we begin to see those wounds influencing everything to which we are oriented. If we believe in our heart of hearts that we are deficient or inadequate, we realize we are living small as a self-protective strategy.

In short, we find that our beliefs and perceptions are leading us astray, or that unhealed inner wounds block us off from possibility and potential. Much to our surprise, we may realize that much of that upon which we have focused are symptoms, that beneath these are the “causes and conditions” that the Big Book proposes are the root of our alcoholism or addiction.

It is then, that we may seek a therapist to deepen our psycho-spiritual investigations. Or we may find we need a sponsor or mentor who can take us in new directions with our recovery. Or we may turn to other spiritual or religious practices and disciplines in order to get at these underlying factors.

One of the most beautiful learnings in years of recovery is that there are many ways to be healed, and many ways to advance our recovery. The first requirement seems always to be that we must realize we need more of a solution. Not that our recovery work to date has failed, instead it brings us to new degrees of recovery.

Therein lies our encouragement. (Imagine that … to be en-couraged!) So too does our experience, strength and hope confirm that recovery is not a resting place or safe haven, though it may provide both. Instead it is a launching pad. What we are called to is a psychic change. Once old ideas and decisions based on self are revealed, and once inner healing comes, our selves, our lives, and our worlds change.

“You can trust recovery. You can trust the process.”

~ Sam D.

Jackie's Relationship Transformation

Introduction

In The Next Frontier, the piece written by AA Co-founder Bill W in 1957, he points us toward emotional sobriety:

“If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these hobbling demands. Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then be able to Twelfth Step ourselves and others into emotional sobriety.”

In order to understand those crippling dependencies, we must look deeply within ourselves to underlying causes, expectations, and old ideas that no long serve us well.

In The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of AA, Bill adds this remarkable thought:

“We can go far beyond those things which were superficially wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives.”

Following is Jackie’s story of how this was revealed to her in her own personal experiences and relationships. It is a message of hope for all of us who have unhealed relationships even as our recovery has advanced through the years.

Relationships Can Be Transformed (Because We Can Be Transformed)

I recently attended a Progressive Recovery Workshop.  The workshop seemed like the perfect opportunity to work on my relationship with my youngest daughter Ana, age 27. My self reliance in trying to figure her out failed me. It was time to ask for guidance. I signed up for the Workshop with an open mind and a willingness to look at my part in our relationship.    

My willingness to do the work blessed me.  I did a lot of writing on my relationship with my daughter. A thorough 4th Step revealed that I was wrong about the assumptions I had conjured up over the years. My behaviors around her were all based on ideals I thought were true. These ideals kept a silent distance between us. I was trying so hard to be the Mother I thought she wanted me to be. I felt her shift towards independence meant that I would no longer be needed in her life. What I have since learned is that her growth and independence were actually quite normal for her age.  It wasn’t Ana who had the issue, it was me!  I needed for her to need me so I would feel ok with me. No wonder I could not find emotional sobriety. My dependence on her validation made it impossible.

I had to take a good look at myself and my expectations. Hanging on to these old ideals had no value in my life anymore.  I needed to look toward God for the awareness to clear this channel that blocked me from Him.

It was during a guided meditation at the workshop that God revealed the truth to me. During the meditation my negative thoughts began to shift.  The message I was receiving was that I was a Good Mother. The fact was that my daughter and I had just the right relationship!  How could that be?  Nothing had changed that day other than a shift in my perspective.  My perfectionism and all or nothing thinking got in the way. The relationship had to be just perfect according to me. I was able to unravel my thoughts to see reality. The shift in my perspective has drawn my daughter near to me in ways I thought I would never know.  I am no longer full of expectations of what the relationship should be. There is no rule book on our relationship anymore.   I pause and accept her for who she is and continue to watch for the neediness within me.

This shift not only made me look at my behaviors with my daughter but with my family and friends. I continue to watch for my neediness in these relationships. With Gods Grace I have been learning to use the tools from the Workshop with all of the relationships I have today.

I am so thankful! So is Ana!

I'm Alright

"I had to tell the truth to myself about myself.” ~Michael Canfield

After we completed the release of our Strengths-Based Recovery virtual workshops, click here to view all three, a friend pointed us to Michael’s video at Green Renaissance, a site that explores our shared humanity through powerful reflections.

Michael’s recovery story spoke so loudly to finding and expressing our strengths, and beyond that, to finding our spiritual footing despite sometimes terrible and ugly histories.

We think his story is not just the tale of getting clean and sober, but a hopeful reflection for all of us on how to walk ourselves. It sounds like emotional sobriety to us.

Enjoy his story, and his experience, strength and hope. Nothing but the best, friends.

Getting Better and Better - A Refresh from Ron

While it may be normal to get stuck in our recoveries, and getting unstuck is often necessary, too often we may be aiming too small for ourselves.

Could it be that the Twelve Steps are designed for allowing us to get better and better? Could the Twelve Promises only continue to improve over time?

In Ron’s story that follows, he explores his own experience and realization that wherever he finds himself in his recovery, there is more to come.

Listen now to his practice in recovery. As always, take what you like and pass it on.

Guided Recovery Meditation by Meg

When we met Meg a few years ago through mutual friends in recovery, it was only a matter of time before conversations tumbled into the 11th Step and meditation. As Meg described in a blog from Season 2 of the Recovery Sessions , the practices of yoga and meditation have become a centerpiece of her twelve-step recovery program. The sum total became a powerful and enduring part of her life in recovery.

When Meg offered to provide one of her guided recovery meditations, a weaving together of principles of recovery, yoga and meditation, it was clear it would be very useful to many. Now close your eyes, breathe and let yourself to follow Meg’s gentle guidance.

What to Do When You Don't Know How to Surrender

When I was less than two years sober and going through an extended run of difficult, troubling life problems which were the result of my drinking years, I was not doing very well emotionally. One day when I was stretched really thin, I shared at my home group; it was quite a litany of challenges. After the meeting, a well-meaning, old timer put his hand on my shoulder and told me, “You just need to let go and let God.”

I cracked. “Every damned morning I get out of bed, hit my knees and pray for any kind of help I can get. All day long I try to practice the twelve steps as best I’m able. I’m doing everything I’m told to do. What more do you suggest?”

If you did not feel the tone, it was not pleasant. I was frustrated and suffering, despite everything I knew to do. The old timer backed off.

On that day it became clear to me that we don’t actually know how to turn it over, how to let go, how to surrender. And over the years it’s become clear that a lot of us don’t know how. We know it’s possible, we just don’t know how to get it done.

So when we saw this article on the nitty gritty of surrender, we knew we had to pass it on. While it is not specifically about recovery, it’s a rich, deep dive and very useful. Check it out. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Click Here to Read When It's Time to Let Go of Control... and Surrender!

Progressive Recovery Book Release: A Capstone

Ron’s newest book, an in-depth exploration of Progressive Recovery, is a capstone of his life’s work. This video details the story behind the development of the book as well as a brief overview of the content.

One Breath at a Time

In recovery much is said about the concept of “one day at a time” as a way to tackle what feels like the insurmountable task of staying sober long-term. But perhaps further guidance in this matter can come from another practice - Buddhism. In this episode of Progressive Content, The Author of “One Breath at a Time” Kevin Griffin sits down with Ron to chat about Buddhism, his book, and his perspective on the 12 Steps.

A Conversation with Rabbi Rami Shapiro

For the latest episode of Progressive Content, Ron Chapman interviews Rabbi Rami Shapiro about his latest book and his unique take on addiction recovery. Shapiro believes there is much more to the 12 Step Practice than we often work through; in fact, he believes it's meant to be a spiritual practice for everyone. 

To learn more about Rami Shapiro and his work, you can visit his website here. 

Radical Circumstances Might Call for Radical Action: Donovan and Ayahuasca

Recovery from substance-abuse addiction is not a linear path; it is a winding road that often leads us further down than we want to go. And when we get to those places, climbing back out can feel overwhelming, hopeless, or impossible. Donovan's story is about how his path lead him to a new, and radical option: ayahuasca. Listen to Donovan's story below.  

Strengths-Based Recovery: A Coaching Session

Recovery from substance abuse addiction does not, and cannot, happen alone. It is a complex process that requires a strong support community to guide you along a path of deep introspection and emotional work. For this episode of Progressive Content we're featuring a coaching session between two women, both in recovery. One is a coach, and one is being coached, using the Strengths Finder framework. 

Alternative Therapies for Pain Management

Millions of Americans are in recovery from substance abuse addiction, and must navigate pain management in such a way as to not trigger a relapse. This is especially important as the effects of prescribed opioids have triggered an addiction epidemic. Progressive Recovery is pleased to feature this interview with Dr. Gurusahay Khalsa, where he discusses alternative therapies for pain management for anyone who wishes to avoid using opiates in pain management.

Dr. Khalsa has been in private practice since 1978 and is the director of the GRD Healing Arts Clinic, PC, a multi-disciplinary health and healing clinic in Atlanta, GA. His specialties include acupuncture, gentle chiropractic care, nutrition, applied kinesiology, and yoga therapy. Dr. Khalsa educates and inspires people to improve the quality of their living by enabling them to take control of their own life physically, mentally and spiritually. He has lectured extensively for the last 45 years on health care, nutrition, oriental medicine, Kundalini yoga and meditation, stress management, goal setting, prosperity, and wellness and longevity. 

To learn more about Dr. Khalsa, you can visit his website here.

What is Progressive Recovery? From a Workshop in Greenville, SC

We often get asked what Progressive Recovery is. The following audio from a workshop in Greenville, SC helps shed light on what we're doing. 

Transcending to Become Authentic

What does is mean to live authentically? And how does this affect our recovery from substance abuse? We invited Ethan, a transgender man, to join us for this episode of Progressive Content to discuss how getting sober led to another significant revelation about being true to oneself.

An Interview With Liz Rose: Laughter Brings Light in Dark Situations

Is it possible to find humor in addiction recovery? Liz and Ron aim to find out if a good laugh is what it takes to shine some light into a dark subject. Join us for this bonus Progressive Content.